Monday, March 27, 2006

love and basketball

idiot of all idiots, I've scheduled moving day for April 1. Uh, duh. So now there will be some pleading with the UHaul store to have an earlier reservation so that I can enjoy the game with my new hometown (22030, whut, holler! - haha)

Anywhooo - This has been the most tumultous month like, ever ever. There is upheaval every which way I look, and my feet haven't felt like they are on solid ground for a while. Long while. Everyone says I'm coming across as happier, more together, more engaged, etc. then they've seen for a while - but then this everyone is my family. I don't get it. If drinking until I'm hungover at least once a week, getting to work at 10 everyday, and generally feeling apathetic is together, well then I suppose they are right, right?

Nah, its not all that bad. I've got great friends, and I love them so much. I really do miss the excitement and joy that comes with a relationship, but I don't miss drama. I would welcome meeting somebody new and amazing, but we all know you can't force it or even admit it to anyone but yourself if you really want that to happen. Its back to concentrate on me time. I really don't give a shit if its selfish - my family, my home, my health, my work, and my pets and the only things that are going to get attention for a little while. The reason some things don't work is that I let everything go to deal with them. I shouldn't have to let everything go to make time to deal.

So, am I together? Sure. I've got a new job starting this coming Monday, and when I wake up to start my new job, it will be in a new house. I'm taking 4 classes and maintaining about 45 hours a week here. My apartment is covered in cardboard boxes, and is slowly disappearing, piece by piece, into those boxes. I try to quit smoking every third day, approximately, and one day it will stick, it will! Its officially spring and before I know it I'll be jogging around my new neighborhood on a 75 degree morning.

The huge gaping relationship hole? Yeah, that's starting to bother me. As the 28th year looms large on the horizon (something like 40 days from now). As a pass that milestone, I pass the marriage mark of my sister. If that doesn't make sense, you aint a girl. My parents got married at 20, so I've never bothered with that one. But when your big sister dates a guy for 5 years before marrying him at age 28, and you are single and age 28, then, well. that's sucks big nuts.

Just saying.

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