"Location: Washington, DC
Compensation: Commiserate with experience
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Phone calls about this job are ok.
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests"

Tee hee hee. I believe the word your looking for is...commensurate, hmmmm?

and then?

soooo yeah! 5 months later here, and I feel inspired to type some words rather that use this page only for its links to other, more shall we say, attended to blogs. i have a new job, a new dog, a new wonderful people in my life. tis almost December and Christmas hullabaloo is about to come crashing down. many of my formally single friends are now happily settled in relationships and dynamics have changed.

i still feel a bit shocked and damaged and lost about E moving away, although that was 7 months ago. apparently the memories of 12 years do not go softly into the good night. go figure. but i am healing, i think. i struggle with thoughts that this is NOT my one, my lobster, so to speak. i actually still cannot truly fathom it. but i feel justified in my stubborn pouty behavior at times, because its helping me through. also helping me through, gene weingarten's excellent Tuesday chats. which i must go read now.

tata

random post #289

ouch, last updated on Apr 2, 2007. Its flippin June 15th! Apparently I was busy.
Ok, so I'm older, arguably wiser, possibly more bouyant (beer, its summer), and a little bit more sexxay. cause I'm tan.

Blog, life is serendipitous, you know? I am just amazed at the stuff that lands in my lap sometimes. When things are bad, sometimes things get awesome. Sometimes. Could I be more vague? No.

I think I have come to have peace with a particular persistant thing in my life, eh? And I thought it was happy peace. But you need 2 people for happy peace. But I need to demonstrate patience. Patience I say! I shall be patient.

Work is alternately lame as poop and kick ass awesome. What else is new I guess.

I need a change of something...I just don't know what. I'm training for a 10K. whoo.

ok random yeah its Friday at 5:11 and i'm at work. torturous, really.

ttyl blog.

spring sprung?

yaaaay its April. In exactly 30 days I shall be 29 years of age. Kinda happy bout that too. I feel much better at 29 than at 28, despite what a crazy f***ed up year this has been. Of course, I still do have that month for things to turn shitty...just kidding.

I think I shall go to an island for the b-day this year. With clear water. Never seen the clear water.

shoeses

So I have my favoritist shoes on. They are camel, leather, pointy-tointed, 4.5 inch heels, and I love. Except for this - I've never worn them to work, until today. I have on pantyhose, as I horribly unfashionable and also I work at a conservative type of place and also its cold. And the shoes? With the pantyhose they've magically grown at least 1.5 sizes. And if you've ever tried to walk in too-big heels you know that I look ridiculous doing that. So now I've stuffed papertowles into the toes and it doesnt feel good but wtf else can I do. Fashion is lame sometimes. If I stretch these shoes out with the paper towels and then they don't fit even without the slidy super powers of pantyhose I'll be mighty pissed.

In other news: NCAA tournament so far...grrrrrrrrr. Except for Georgetown yay.

dorks-r-us

apparently I'm kinda bookish...

Look at the list of books below. Bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a 10 foot pole, put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of.

1. +The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. +The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. +The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. +The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. *Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)

15. +Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)

20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. +The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. +The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)

23. +Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. +The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. +The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. +The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. +Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. +1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True(Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)

41. +The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. +Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)

45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. +The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. +She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. +A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. +The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. +One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. +Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. +Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. +Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. +Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)76. *The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. +A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)81. *Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. +Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. +Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. +Lord of the Flies (Golding)93. The Good Earth(Pearl S. Buck)
94. +The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

f'ed in feb

Hi internet. It's February, so you need a post. Like to keep those months of archives listed up to date and all. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you so. I'm not ready to talk, blog. There is so much going on in my head and I think I'm going a little mad. It all feels so indulgent, it does. Therapy and drugs and what for, who how why did I get to this point and how can I make it better. I miss not thinking. I miss not being deeply mired in my own thoughts. I miss not having to focus every minute on my physical reaction to A, B, and C. I don't pretend to understand what it means to struggle with disease but I can only say I don't know how anyone ever deals with disease because I can't even handle the bizarre twisting of my own mind. Worse before better, I keep telling myself. It's gotta get worse when you face it head on. Pretending wasn't really working anymore anyway. But so far, neither is my cure. Day by day.

pretty darn cool

A senior partner at my firm was nominated to be the new "Intelligence Czar" this morning. And we employ the former director of the CIA too. Kind of a cool place to work...now if I could only finish that recipe for truth serum...

Two thousand zero seven

res·o·lute [rez-uh-loot]
–adjective 1. firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion.
2. characterized by firmness and determination, as the temper, spirit, actions, etc.

I don't actually believe in resolutions. I believe you should continuously strive to better yourself throughout the year. Much like birthdays and Valentine's day, however, i appreciate the tradition. In 2006 I took a hold of some things that had been bothering me, about my confidence, my health - and I've made huge strides towards reaching my goals. However, there are still many things that I would like to do better.

Some of my resolutions are quite tangible, some are more vague. I will strive for all of them with equal force and likely many stops and starts. But life is a journey of stops and starts, is it not?

In 2007, I will:
1) Quit fucking smoking already, geez
2) Run a 10K (I'm already at 5K, this isnt such a stretch =))
3) Take care of myself
4) Love my friends and family
5) Be the best friend, sister, daughter, and granddaughter that I can be on each day
6) Give back through volunteering

See, resolutions...they make me feel silly =) But good things, no doubt. Happy New Year!

My Favorite Poerty Vol 1

I come across writings from time to time that I love - but I always have trouble rememebering which ones they are that I love when they're not in front of me. The following is Funeral Blues by W.H. Alden. If you've seen Four Weddings and a Funeral you will recognize it. I just rediscovered it while reading Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. I think it is best if you imagine it as read in the voice of John Hannah (Matthew in the film).


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.


He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.


The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Certified Human Resources Professional

I just passed my PHR exam! Kicking ass, takin names.

whoooooooooo Donkeys!

The AP has called VA for Webb. The Dems have taken both houses. Rummy's out. Thank you America, you've finally pulled your head out of you ass (albeit barely). Now STOP VOTING FOR AMENDMENTS AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE DAMMIT!!

3rd party dreams or derailers

You want to know what frustrates and conflicts me? This:


Allen (R)
(Incumbent)
1,006,876 50%
Webb (D)
982,054 49%
Parker (I)
22,107 1%

This is with 80% reporting in VA. Look at that Independant vote. Add it to Webb's votes. Match that up with Allen's. I get frustrated because I beleive strongly in the need for a viable third party in the US, but I think I believe more strongly in making a statement against leadership like Allen's. I don't know, I'd like to be an idealist but things like this bring out the realist in me. A revolutionary I'm not, perhaps. Maybe only in my dreams.

p.s. - yes, I realize these #s are fairly insignificant right now wrt final outcome =)

Don't use the word if you have to make one up.

Message Board Post from Anon (regarding the movie Borat):
"I found it slightly humorous, but then very offensive. I walked out! I'm not too old to appreciate humor and satirism. But this went over the line in my opinion. I just couldn't laugh and feel comfortable laughing. "

Personally, I am offended by your use of the word "satirism". But maybe that's just me. Also I prefer if you spell humor with a "u". humour. It's just prettier.

past/present tense. the question of the decade.

what do you do when you hold inside a love that makes you long for and wish for and daydream and it is, lo and behold, returned, with the same force and depth and truth and wonder, but occasionally and sometimes frequently life with this love makes you want to bash your dear sweet head in (not to mention theirs)? you sign up for therapy and then what? you let it go, huh? you think that's easy? you are wrong. there's nothing worse than two people who love eachother with all their beings but can't seem to get it together. its a tragedy in the worst way.

this is pretty much my first attempt at writing about this, this that has been a defining theme in my life for quite literally as long as I can remember. We'll see if I can do it. I can never get the words out right here. How honest can I be to all the internets? Well, let me unlink from myspace and we'll see....

ok really here's the real pic

shame shame

I have been scolded, mildly, twice today so far and its only 2pm. Shucks. The first was this morning at the 7-11. I ran in to pick up a soda and on my way out this bike cop with the cop sunglasses on (respect mah authoritay!) said something I guess but I didn't hear so just walked right by. And then he tapped his stupid baton thing on the column (no, no idea why 7's has columns) to get my attention, and says, ma'am, do you know what you did wrong? And I'm all, um, left my house without makeup? And he says no, you made a left turn across 2 solid yellow lines. Now, I can't really explain to you why this makes no sense at this particular intersection and I can't figure out how to imbed a drawing so youre just going to have to trust me this made no sense. Ok, I'll try. Basically there is a residential street (off which I live) that ends up at an intersection with a larger street, with a light. It splits into four lanes (two each way) right as it gets to the light. So your situation is that you are at a light, and are either in the left turn lane or the right. There is no straight. Ok, so imagine, right at this light there also happen to be two small strip malls, housing 7-11, dry cleaners, so forth. The entrances to both of these strip malls come off that residential street approximately 2-3 car lengths back from the intersection. You dig? The double yellow lines completely cover the length of both entrances. Meaning, the double lines extend farther past the intersection than the driveways to the strip malls do. Bascially, you cannot make a left into the stripmall on the left without crossing said double lines. So I say to the cop, UM, HUH? and he tries to explain, and I'm all, ok, sure, um, THOSE yellow lines there? Do you understand my issue with your explanation here? I acutally said, "are you allowed to turn left into here at all?" I'm still so not understanding what his point was, but I said, Ok, I'll make sure to watch that. Whatever.

And then, fun, I opened my office door this morning and stepped on a piece of paper (hate that, stop sliding shit under my door) and its all blue and in a nice font and seriously, this is what it says....

"Hello neighbors,
We have a very small favor to ask that we think will make a big impact on the appearance of the hallways and are seeking your help.

Each evening we put our trash cans out in the hall to be emptied and each day a great many of them remain in the hall. First impressions make such an impressions on our visitors and on all of us.

Please join our team campaign, that takes little effort and bring your trash can into your office. If you (sic) neighbor is not there, please be a good neighbor and bring their can into their office for them.

This may take some time to be 100% but the impact will be well worth the effort."


Seriously, CANNOT stop laughing. This is what consultants are paid to do people, THIS is what matters. bwahahahaha.

deep thoughts

If I ever wanted to open an online store selling pots, I would totally call it washingtonpots.com, because I mistype washingtonpost all the time and I bet it would get a lot of traffic

remembrance

I can't write well enough to express my feelings today, but CityMama out in San Francisco has done pretty well...I give you her words. Also, happy anniversary to my sweet Tasha, who made my day much brighter 9/11/2004 and every day since.

"Our broken world wasn't always like this.

There was once a time when I could sit on a plane without furtively scanning the faces of everyone boarding, feeling nothing but shame for doing so.

In fact, there was once a time when we never had to take off our shoes to get on a plane and we could take all manner of liquids and gels on board. Also, pilots used to sometimes come out of the cockpits and walk up and down the aisles to stretch their legs. I used to love seeing them, and I especially loved when one of them was a woman.

There was once a time when I would be able to sit in a crowded theater and not think, "Look at all the people in here...together, in one place... What if...?"

There was once a time when I could walk into my favorite restaurant and didn't have to watch the owners regarding me with sadness behind their eyes, wondering if I was one of those people that thought they were bad.

There was a time when I didn't have to be the first person to walk up to the woman wearing a hijab and abaya at Back-to-School night and give her a warm handshake and tickle her baby's toes (something I would have done anyway) to distract her from the rude stares and whispering.

There was a time when I didn't have images of big planes flying into big buildings and people holding hands falling from windows and distraught loved-ones clutching photos and pregnant widows etched into my memory forever. Who could even imagine such horror?

There was a time when I didn't have to think about what the last moments of a talented pastry chef who just moved to New York from San Francisco to work in a restaurant high in the sky must have been like.

There was a time when 2,700+ people from 90 countries were alive and well and their families and friends were whole.

There was time when I didn't worry so much.

That time ended five years ago today. That time—no matter how hard times were—was like a beautiful dream to me."

VMAs

When I was in middle school, the VMAs were always during the first week of school, which meant I was not allowed to stay up to watch the whole show. I was allowed to watch until 10 or 1030 or so and then I had to go to bed. This was probably more torture than not being allowed to watch at all until they were replayed (which used to happen far less frequently than the 24/7 repeats we see these days). Of course, back then, it was fact that there was something of worth in the second half of the show, something to actually regret missing. You can see where this is going.

I mean, yes, I actually do appreciate Axl Rose announcing the Killers, I do. Because the Killers are a good band and GnR is one of the best bands ever ever ever. But come on! The best part of the show last night was the sideshow, the Racounteurs. Did anyone else get the feeling that noone GOT the significance of those guest starts? Does anyone even KNOW the history of The Buggles in connection with the MTV giant?
I just felt like MTV was making a decent effort at recognizing good music and the crowd and voters just kind of went HELL NO, i want me some whiny shitty emo fucking mess like Panic in the disco (I'm not typing that damn exclamation point, you cannot make me) or god forbid Fall Out Boy. Who invented these bands? They suck! What's funny is that AFI kinda looks like them but you can tell that they are different because OH! their music is GOOD.

So here's the question - am I getting old, or is music getting bad. Because I like new bands, I do, a lot. The aforementioned Killers, AFI, and Racontuers all get a big thumbs up from me. That whiney shit and that blingy shit? Listen to it at the clubs, I don't give a fuck cause I don't DO clubs really, shit, I will even dance to some Kanye, I like Kanye. But not more Lil Wags or Big Pony or whatever the fuck. But do not give AWARDS to these people, man! You will regret it later in life. I mean, come on, I can justify Debbie Gibson in comparison to these people and WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THAT?

And WTF is up with not giving awards to Madonna or the Chili Peppers, you heinous heathens?!?!

Also, I have not seen a video on MTV for some time. I tried this week. I think it happens when I'm asleep and at work.