I have a theory, completely of my own design, that a lot of my anxiety is do to my experiencing a lot of well, crap, and tamping it down. I never get angry. So, I'm going to try and be angry a bit.
I feel generally safe in this forum..as far as I can tell, my readers are either strangers or those I know well enough that I'd probably tell you this stuff anyway. Call it therapy, on the cheap.
What I'm angry about..(this is hard).
1) Spending endless nights, years, unable to sleep, relax, and in fear for his life
2) Being the only one that had to see him at his worst
3) Allowing myself to be used
4) I give and I never take
5) I have to break down before you notice I'm not okay
Woo. Okay, that was super tough. Break time. I'll re-visit.