Thursday, December 29, 2005

i get overly excited, kinda like a puppy.

new strokes album drops on the 3rd! just ask how excited I am. I'm so excited.
I was going to pre-order via internet, but honestly, I think this one deserves an ole midnight on the 2nd at Tower. yay!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


strange twist of dad just called, appears they have decided to rent me one of their houses (not condo nor apartment, house) in Fairfax City for ridiculously reasonable rent. so, yeah. i have to buy a lawnmower. and a lot more furniture. Its 3 BR, unfinished basement, deck, yard, carport, the whole shebang. built in the 40s or 50s so its cute too. sweet.

I know its not MY old kentucky home but i still want it to be

I like to state things in this forum occasionally with no real background info. Like this...
If, whenever it may be that I meet someone boyfriend worthy who also finds me girlfriend worthy, and, such a relationship ensues, and I still want to move to Louisville as bad as I do today when I stumble across the most perfect house for rent ever in the Highlands (okay, stumble may be a strong word, I look at the Craigslist listings for Louisville, San Francisco, Boston, and a couple of other random cities with fair frequency), if I still want to move back there when I have the clarity of time and of other, you knows, I am doing it! because I'm really tired of describing my perfect house and neighborhood and knowing exactly where it is but also that I don't live there anymore, its entirely unreasonable for me to just up and move, but so what, but really! and also they don't really have any jobs there.

Really the best thing for all of us would be for me to meet a boy from Louisville who is here, get to know his you know and all, and then it totally won't be hard for me to convince him to move back. Life plan. Easy peasy.

Thanks for listening.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

tuesdays are usually pretty ok.

i really need to make a mental note...or a virtual note, really, I'm adding it to my 2006 Outlook calendar...TAKE THIS WEEK OFF NEXT YEAR. I am so bored I could cry, but instead I'm reading and perusing resumes, of which there are no new ones because if you wanted a new job why would you post it on Dec 26 you know?
But I had yesterday off and I have Friday off and I didn't come in today til eleven, so I'm not REALLY complaining. other than to myself. I always say I will work this week because 1) its a really easy week, why miss it and 2) I like to take big vacays in May and 3) my family is all here locally anyway. but Im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not doing anything. obviously, look, im basically talking to myself in this forum. send me your resume if you want a job in DC. that'll give me something to read at least.

Monday, December 26, 2005

and if you have 5 seconds to spare...

ill tell you the story of my life. excellent name for a blog btw. must've been done. to many smiths fans out there for it not to have been.

p.s. my bro-in-law got me sweet headphones for xmas, hence the very close listening to of many of my favorite songs at 314am. go figah. i also got...good stuff, im too tired to list.

my favoritist

"i heard there was a secret code the day they played and it pleased the lord but you don't really care for music do you?
when it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift, the baffled king composing halelujah"

"your faith was strong but you needed proof, and you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you and she tied you to her kitchen chair, and she broke your throne and she cut your hair, and from your lips you drew the halelujah"

"well baby ive been here before, ive seen this room and ive walked this floor, you know i used to live alone before i knew you. and ive seen your flag on the marble arch and love is not a victory march its a cold and its a broken halelujah"

"well there was a time when you let me know whats really going on below, but now you never show that to me do you? but remember when i moved in you and the holy dove was moving too and every breath we drew was halelujah"

"maybe there is a God above but all ive ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you. and its not a cry that you hear at night its not somebody whos seen the light its a cold and its a broken halelujah"

Friday, December 23, 2005

im afraid im such a dork that

while driving today, stuck in horrid mall traffic, i started looking a letters on license plates and off my mind went into wondering why letters are the way they are. shouldn't E, arguably an oft-used letter, be simple? I mean, other vowels, like I, O, and U, are very simple. what's up with A and E? so, in my dorkiness, I've purchased and am reading the following:

Letter Perfect: The Marvelous History of Our Alphabet from A to Z by
David Sacks

I'll let you know why when I do.

and its my 20th year in No Virginia - oh my!

it's not new years yet, but I can still reflect, can I not? This year has been very strange. I rang in the new year in love, warm, joyful, a little drunk, and in tennessee (memphis, to be exact). At midnight on jan 1 2005 I was in the street on beale, dancing to an amazing street musicians cigar box guitar version of war pigs with a 24 ounce beer in a plastic cup in one hand and my beloved's waist in the other, while fireworks burst overhead. One hour back from east coast time, I hadnt changed my watch and the year sort of snuck up on me.

Fast forward to February 7..and while it does say something none to positive that I still know that date..when I had the sanest breakup I have ever had, if you take away the whole 600 mile distance and phone thing. I did then and have now a whole lot of respect and warm feeling for you, ex boyfriend.

I started this blog in the first weeks after that breakup, which sort of threw me for a loop. Although it wasnt as hard as its been in the past, whether that is due to his respect and care for my broken heart or the distance and absence I had become used to.

I went on dates this year, flirted a bit here and there, the stray kiss here and there.. but i haven't yet really had enthusiasm for dating again until very recently. Which makes me an asshole to you, who I hurt when I tried too soon, and Im so sorry and wish I could do a do-over. But while regrets are important, I can't live by them. Now I do think I may be ready again. So I am excited at the prospect of what may come for me in that area.

I'm also damn excited for what may come for me in all other areas. Things I have in my calendar so far for 2006 - New condo on March 1, trip to Italy and France in late March. I'm not sure where work will fit in with the March schedule, but you have to admit, that is an impressive start on the year.

I've made new more friends in this past year than I have for a long time. It feels great and I am happy. I'm looking forward to spending even more time with my parents with each coming year. I'm looking foward to next summer at the beach in NC at our new beach house. I'm looking forward to gaining some clarity on what I want to do with my career - I think its starting to come into focus.

I'm really just looking forward to continuing to come into my own. To grow into myself. I spent last new years eve happy in a couple. I'll spend this one joyously, completely, me.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

happy holidays to you

day four of the pointless week:

on last Friday, upon receiving emails from the Madrid and Paris offices regarding their closure from Mon, Dec 19th through Tues, Jan 3rd, I thought....humph. Not only do the Europeans get better work hours and longer lunches, they are generally more relaxed about this whole..lets work right through Christmas thing. The AMERICAN office, however...of which there are many many, but I work at the HQ, is closed only on Monday 12/26 and Monday 1/2, and I think there was some resistance for that plan, too.
But lets face it. Monday was really the last functional day this week. Everybody is sort of collectively shrugging their shoulders at this point. Ain't nothin happenin between today (maybe yesterday) and January 3rd. Why am I here? Why did I do laundry to get dressed to come here? If I lived in NY, and I did not have access to public transportation today, I sure as hell would know what? Its December 22nd people, I aint doin it. I will work from home.
Americans celebrate Christmas as we do any other working until the last possible second, taking a concession that gosh, I guess we have to not work on the 25th, all the while scrambling about in their search to spend spend spend and ultimately, stress stress stress. I work across the street from something like Americas 3rd busiest mall. Kinda makes me want to rip my hair out when it takes 45 minutes to move 2 miles, as it has every evening for the last 1.5 weeks.

Why why why do we torture ourselves? You can't enjoy Christmas like this. That is why, although I have no plans tomorrow and have finished my shopping, I ain't comin to work tomorrow. I aint doin it. So there, corporate america, I'm taking back 8 hours hahaha freakin ha.

I sound bitter, I know, and I'm actually not. But really. I need a day to decompress before I can enjoy Christmas, and you probably do too. I know I will never regain the wonder that Christmas once provided..Christmas from the eyes of a child is one of life's most amazing things. Although possibly greed driven. But even greed driven wonder can be sweet. I still get teary eyed at midnight christmas eve services when I go, and Im not religious..its more of a re-connecting to my childhood thing. Go to church, Dad reads the Night Before Christmas, leave cookies and milk for Santa.

Of course, Santa is now lactose intolerant and on Atkins, but things do change. For the last two years I woke up alone on Christmas morning at my house...and then drove to my parents. Which lacks the pad downstairs in my pajamas feel, but is also quite nice. When Christmas is over now I feel not necessarily full of joy but certainly more joyful.

So Merry Christmas, internet, and all of your denizens. Happy Hanukkah too. Try not to be jaded and try not to stress and just sit and listen to the world on Christmas morning with a warm cup of tea and your mom and sister...its quite lovely

Just wait til you hear what I think about New Years ;)

Friday, December 09, 2005

oh its so good

funniest post i've read in a while from the first blog I ever read all the way through. I too had one of those BR safari shirts...we all did, you know you did. Them and the Hypercolors, and the Vuarnets and Vision Streetwear.

My excuse for this is that I woke up at 530.

I am feeling awful proud this morning. I pulled off what you might call a "hat trick" or a "holy shit she's good" in the recruiting world. If you live in DC, you probably realize what a cluster-f the morning commute could have been today because OMG, there's about an inch of snow. If you live in New York or Boston, well, damn I feel for you, have fun with those 12 inches you get today. Everyone's freaking cold, I know, it sucks.

Ok, so ANYWAY. I had 5 candidates scheduled between 815am and now. 9am. I gave all those fuckers my cell phone number. And all the interviewers. And the recruiters. I was going to be Ma Bell this morning with all the calls I should have gotten. But...I planned, so carefully, because I'm awesome, that everyone new what to do and only 4 people called, like I said, because I'm awesome. I now I totally get to go home early cause I got here at 7:30am and so what if I have finals tomorrow and haven't studied because I feel very important right now.

Monday, December 05, 2005


2000 hits today. That's 2000 hits in approximately..10 months + a little. so 200 a month, give or take. so.. 6 a day. Maybe 2 of those are me. Maybe more. Anyway, apparently somebody besides me is reading this. I am acutely aware of certain people that DO read it, and it makes me sensor myself, but I suppose that is what I agreed to when sharing my identity. I like this little home on the internet.