Monday, March 27, 2006

love and basketball

idiot of all idiots, I've scheduled moving day for April 1. Uh, duh. So now there will be some pleading with the UHaul store to have an earlier reservation so that I can enjoy the game with my new hometown (22030, whut, holler! - haha)

Anywhooo - This has been the most tumultous month like, ever ever. There is upheaval every which way I look, and my feet haven't felt like they are on solid ground for a while. Long while. Everyone says I'm coming across as happier, more together, more engaged, etc. then they've seen for a while - but then this everyone is my family. I don't get it. If drinking until I'm hungover at least once a week, getting to work at 10 everyday, and generally feeling apathetic is together, well then I suppose they are right, right?

Nah, its not all that bad. I've got great friends, and I love them so much. I really do miss the excitement and joy that comes with a relationship, but I don't miss drama. I would welcome meeting somebody new and amazing, but we all know you can't force it or even admit it to anyone but yourself if you really want that to happen. Its back to concentrate on me time. I really don't give a shit if its selfish - my family, my home, my health, my work, and my pets and the only things that are going to get attention for a little while. The reason some things don't work is that I let everything go to deal with them. I shouldn't have to let everything go to make time to deal.

So, am I together? Sure. I've got a new job starting this coming Monday, and when I wake up to start my new job, it will be in a new house. I'm taking 4 classes and maintaining about 45 hours a week here. My apartment is covered in cardboard boxes, and is slowly disappearing, piece by piece, into those boxes. I try to quit smoking every third day, approximately, and one day it will stick, it will! Its officially spring and before I know it I'll be jogging around my new neighborhood on a 75 degree morning.

The huge gaping relationship hole? Yeah, that's starting to bother me. As the 28th year looms large on the horizon (something like 40 days from now). As a pass that milestone, I pass the marriage mark of my sister. If that doesn't make sense, you aint a girl. My parents got married at 20, so I've never bothered with that one. But when your big sister dates a guy for 5 years before marrying him at age 28, and you are single and age 28, then, well. that's sucks big nuts.

Just saying.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

go patriots!

ok, so i dropped 3 out of 4 games tonight, but the important one is won. GMU will face a UConn that just went through a helluva game. GMU v UConn. never woulda thought. Sunday, sunday, sunday! watch it..

Friday, March 24, 2006

its all i talk about somehow.

George Mason is in the Elite 8. And so is Villanova (goal tending, uhhuh, ok, whatever, it was but ew). Now, I will watch U-dub/uConn and Florida/Gtown. What do I want to happen, you ask? Well, I already saw JJ Reddick cry (ok, I felt bad for him), so some dreams have come true (no, i dont mean it). I want a subway series of Wash DC bball. I want to feel this city on its feet. I want UDub to win, and then I want Mason to beat them. I want Gtown to win, and then I want Nova to lose. I want the one seeds to lose because I only love the one seeds if they are from the Commonwealth of Kentucky. I want Fairfax to be a basketball town. I want Mason to play Gtown in the Final Four. I. love. this. game.

I love that my life is fuckity in so many ways, so great and exciting in others, and that I can forget all that and care about a bunch of kids on a court 3, 500, 1000, or 3000 miles away. I kinda wish I was at MCI.

Monday, March 20, 2006

i suck


sorry bout that.

Sunday, March 19, 2006


Holy oh my god! George Mason just knocked UNC out of the tournament! Which means they will be playing either UConn or Kentucky at the MCI Center!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

BBALL, Just don't read it if you don't care.

In other excting NCAA news, GMU and UK both won tonight. My alma mater beat Michigan State! Whoo! On the flip side, UConn pulled that game out. So does this mean they will be pumped for the UK game or worn out? Worn out! Worn out! Come on, cheer with me. UK UK UK UK! Is it so much to ask that there be a UK game at MCI? Plllllleeeeeeease?

slainte - did I even spell that right?

happy st patty's day! I am officially lame and old. Its midnight on March 17th, and I've already been out, and come home. Just wasn't feeling the Hill party I ended up at tonight. I coulda stayed, but my girl wasn't feeling well. She and the hubby and I left, leaving our 23 y.o. friends to get c-razy. Ah, the st. pattys. I'm in my green t-shirt, the tiara's been hung up with the shamrock beads, and I'm happy at home with Will & Grace. Old, I tell ya. Old.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

a little more of this bball thing

So UK pulls UAB as their first game, and then...they will need to face UConn unless there is a MAJOR upset. Sigh. However, if they get past UConn I will potentially see the Sweet 16 game at MCI Center (actually its Verizon center now, guys), given a bit of luck, with UK facing Illinois or Wash, if I'm placing my bets. If the heavens open and God smiles open me, there will be a GMU v UK elite eight game at MCI. Now I'm just crazy-talking. Its UConn for shits sake.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

mood = bad

I'm such a fucking consumer, I am, I am. I hate that I feel the need to buy new sunglasses just cause its a nice day. yet, that is what I did today. I went from work to that fucking horrible evil mall across the street and dropped my money on sunglasses. I hate traffic, I work for a company that makes its money from the fact that our defense and natl security budget is so huge, yet we still can't seem to properly equip troops in this godforsaken war in which the government still insists "hostilities ended" like 3 years ago, I love DC proper but I hate every single part of Fairfax County right now with a passion, and I'm not a huge fan of Arlington right now either. I hate that I'm stuck here until 2007 but I know I need that time to properly prepare to make a huge move, and yes, it is going to be huge. I'm in a MOOD right now, can you tell? and its because I've made myself a nice little life thats great and comfortable enough but not at all what I want for myself. My family is here and that is irreplaceable, so I will spend my time improving myself and being with them and not wasting it with meaningless crap. Yeah. I have no inspiration from my surroundings and that makes me sad.

Friday, March 10, 2006

this old house

I finally saw the inside of my new house yesterday. Yes, I realize that this is strange, but its a strange situation. My grandparents, both my father's mother and father, passed away in the Fall of 2004, leaving my dad and his brother with inheritance that included 6 houses, 4 of which are within 15 miles of DC. One of these is the house my father grew up in, the house where he lived when he met my mother in 8th grade, the house they went to after school when they were dating in high school, and this house is now occupied by my sister, her husband, and their two adorable kitties. I think that is so heartbreakingly perfect, its amazing.
2 other houses are town houses in Burke, which is where I lived from ages 8-21. Burke is many things, but convenient to anything it is not. We've all grown out of Burke, I think.

The last local house is my new home. It is a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom two story house and it is ridiculously huge for me and my 2 little cats. When I saw the inside yesterday, it shocked me, in a couple of ways. First, it looks to have been built or at least seriously renovated in a very unfortunate period of the 1970s, style wise. There is an abundance of parquet, which makes NO SENSE because much of the house is hardwood. If they put parquet OVER the hardwood I will laugh and cry and roll around on the floor. The kitchen is a mess, I mean it just needs to be completely overhauled but it is HUGE. I love big kitchens. Each of the bathrooms comes with its own brand of ugly ass missmatched tiling, included the one that takes the show. The sink and surronding cabinet in the main guest bathroom is white, with silver and gold sparkles and stars all over it. Its, its, well there are no words.

The bedrooms are lovely, two at 11X12 feet, and one at 9X9, all hardwood, one with bathroom, all have natural light. The closets are horrid, but you know. Apparently people didnt care about VOLUME of clothes over quality until very recently.

The basement makes me feel like I'm in the ecstacy seen of Garden State. Wood paneling. Huge open spaces. So much storage I could put my whole studio in the storage room. Another bathroom. A bedroom down there too that is crazy big.

And then...the backyard. Or Sara National State Park, as it should be called, because it goes on forever. There is a nice stone laid patio, and then it turns to grass and keeps going and going, pass the hammock on one side (love it) until you hit a stream. Yes, there is a babbling brook IN MY YARD. and then it keeps going.

It is truly amazing. The upstairs dining/living area will be my masterpiece. Its got carpet right now, but we suspect hardwood underneath, so that carpet is old news like yesterday. There are 4 floor to ceiling windows that turn out on the bottom pane, to allow fresh air and breeze to come through.

Picture this..Gleaming white walls and light hardwood floors, slightly worn with age. In the middle of this expanse, we have two simple olive couches surrrounding a low, round, dark wood table. elegant matching side tables corner out the couches and on each end, creating an L shape line.

Yeah, I keep doing that with every room in the house, and in reality - I can do that living room, but then I will be completely tapped for a while, financially. And that's what worries me about this house. The potential, and the knowledge that I will not be able to fix and design everything at the pace that I would like to. Beyond the money, renovating a house takes time, and it is not a solo project. I'm not sure this house is for a single woman. I mean, the gardening alone is going to take all day every Sunday all summer, which is GREAT, but a little anxiety inducing as well.

I refuse to sit in this house and let its potential go to waste. As I told my mom last night, this will be a grown up house. There will be no makeshift cinderblock shelves and/or seating. There will be no futons. There will be no anything that you would see in the house of a 22 year old boy. Except there will be beer. But it will be good beer, in bottles, chilling on the back porch in a metal tub of ice, and served in glasses if you want them because I AM A GROWN UP. And the lawn furniture will be matching and tasteful and not plastic.

I won't move in until April 1, and there will be some renovations prior to that, most notably a fresh coat of paint and a new kitchen floor and counters. But our property manager put a lock box on the door and I have the combo and I am already tempted to go and sit and feel the house some more. I'm worried that I won't be able to sleep with all that space to worry about, all those doors to break into. That the house will make strange noises and I won't feel safe. I'm moving up in the world, neighborhood wise, but I have a feeling I will be more concerned for my safety. Beyond that, I just want to see if I can make it feel like home. Just me rattling around in there will be very strange, but I'm not sure that I want roommates either. What about the fact that I will be furnishing a house of that size, knowing full well that I will likely move back into apartment life in another city and some point - I mean, if I buy this house from my parents, it won't be for a few years. Did I say I wanted to settle in Fairfax? I think I said staying here my whole life would be a tragedy - yup, that was me, it was. And it would be. I need sun and ocean to really breath, I do. And I also need a city. So, really, when you think about it, I NEED San Francisco.

See, I've got house issues. What's a girl to do?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

productivity set in

and its terminal, im afraid.

anyway - stuck head above water long enough to check up on that SEC opener. and...yes, this is now officially the blog of the 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball everything by Sara...I think we have a winner in the Wildcats today. Thank heavens.

Okay, in all seriousness, ya'll don't want to read this crap, do you? So, I promise, no more bball posting until 1) UK wins the SEC tourney or 2) UK or GMU wins the whole damn thing, or like, JJ Reddick renounces his Blue Devilism and professes his undying love for all things Kentucky.

surprisingly long time

how long. can i. do. absolutely. nothing. and still. look. productive?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

just call me dick vitale

real time blogging...

oh please oh please miss the damn freethrow fuck he made it shit.

and then the ball is in the crowd.

i love dean.

this game sucks.

f'in free throws again.

fuck #1.

missed it.


3 point game with 0.9


foul. gotta miss 2 again. do it

.9 enough for a cross court shot? hmm, thinking ahead

short guy.. damn. made it.

damn made anohter. over but fun.

pittsburgh's an ugly city anyway.

Kentucky game tomorrow.

oh, Mr. Stewart!!!

originally uploaded by saralyn.
This is my boyfriend, Jon S. Don't tell his wife.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

thoughts on the everpresent heavy

I haven't been like this since I was 17. The feelings are old and familiar, like what I imagine it would feel like to sit in my old station wagon again. A lot of unanswered questions, frustrations, inability to reach and find you, wondering. Then it was innocent but it felt as heavy as the world on my shoulders. Now it feels heavy like that and it is. Im moved to write in my journal, which you've read, you know, but now I post my journal here and it is exposing everything, yet absolutely nothing at all. Life is beautiful, an adventure. I don't know what it will be without you holding my hand, and I go to sleep every night thinking I. don't. want. to. know. The lump sits in my throat, like now, so frequently lately. Do I listen to the lump, does it matter if I do, do I swallow it down, do I push through, if it feels so wrong can it be right, how long do love songs all seem to be about it, about us. Life is bigger than this. When did we get stuck on this and how do we do anything else? Life is bigger than this. Our life, or our lives. One or two. They will be huge without this but imagine it with. Circular logic will be the end of me.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

with sugar on top

favor to ask, internets.
would someone please remind me to turn on the dang TV at 2pm on Saturday? Cause Louisville is playing UConn and my strategy of NOT watching to make them win is NOT HELPING so I am watching in a last ditch effort into the conference tourney.
And, we all know that during the UK/UL game in December I was like, hungover, comatose, just plain stupid, and was probably sitting on the couch watching the TBS weekend movie marathon instead of like, ohhhh, that game I would pay like 5000 dollars to see live? that's on? oh nooooo, i want to watch Fools Rush In!

Whatever. So yeah, please remind me if you think to.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

yet Im still happy. this is nothing, right?

Hi there blog. Little lonely blog. Sorry I've been neglecting you. Today is March 1, 2006. By April 1, 2006 I will have - moved. been to South Carolina. possibly been to Vegas. started my new position. been to 5 full days of various trainings. learned a whole new candidate profile and hopefully successfully recruited some candidates. done countless hours of homework and taken 3 midterms and a final, celebrated 4 family birthdays (and one cat). Talked with a psychologist willingly (like whoa). Painted new home.
There. That's the planned stuff. That's a lot of planned stuff. I like the unplanned. So, between the planned listed above and the unplanned, well - blogging may happen occasionally. We shall see.