Wednesday, May 30, 2012

dual roles

so, I want to talk about something a little more real-life today, and that is the roles of a man & woman in a relationship.

I think about this a lot, and often times I think, gosh, i wish I had a traditional wife, haha. You know, neither Fred nor I play traditional roles in our relationship. It works for us. But sometimes, I wish I had a 1950s typical June Cleaver house wife. To clean, to iron my clothes, to make dinner.

Because, here's the thing. I value my relationship with Fred immensely, and we are partners. I don't worry about him providing for me, though he does, in many ways. I don't worry about giving up a part of myself to take care of him, although I do (take care of him, not give up).

But I do get frustrated sometimes, because in some ways, I play the roles of husband and wife. In other ways, he does, and I want to recognize that. But, I both bring home and cook the bacon (not real bacon, we're vegetarians). I clean. I decorate. I cook, every night. And I make twice as much money.

Is this okay? Of course it is. He contributes significantly to the bills and to the household. He takes the trash out (something I have zero interest in doing). He can fix the car when its broken.

Does me being the main bread-winner cause problems? Mostly, you'd have to ask him. He's never expressed to me that that makes him upset, or uncomfortable, and I haven't pushed him. It certainly doesn't make me uncomfortable.  I don't work harder then him, I just work differently, and I'm at a different place in my career. No big deal.

I do struggle with traditional "husband" type worries, such as losing my job and not being able to provide for my little family. If we were to have children, I couldn't be the one to stay home with them (not something we are planning on though).

I do sometimes think about how easy I make it. I buy all the groceries, I cook all the food, I clean, I work on the garden. I spend a lot of time and money on making our life good. What else is money for, after all, than building a stable and satisfying life? I have no idea.  I'm not bitter about all this - should I be? I don't know. The only thing that makes me steaming mad is the rare times he'll leave a mess in something I just cleaned - which honestly happens so infrequently it doesn't register. Yes, his bathroom is probably a horrendous mess right now - but I can't see it, I don't use it - I DO care - but I refuse to nag someone to clean. I really hate it. Sure, i will stomp around BEING VERY ANGRY, but I won't nag. I won't ask twice. I will just be pissed. Is this healthy? I'm guessing no.

That brings me to - once in a while, I feel like I am the mom. I don't have any desire to be a mother to my grown-ass husband. But have I created that situation myself?

I don't think I would be very good at being dependent on another person. It's not a part of me, its not in my blood. My ability to be independent is pretty much the most important thing to me. I take care of others. Its kind of what I do. It brings me joy.

Who else out there understands what I'm talking about?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


i didn't take a picture of my outfit today, but it was a point of discussion with Fred this morning. When I came downstairs in my outfit, he said, umm, I don't know about those. Those are..a lot. Haha. I told him, hey, they make a full suit of it, imagine that! He said perhaps I should stay in my office today, haha.

I told him I'd see how much ridicule I received in the office today - so far, none, although I haven't seen my boss yet. Ridicule is his fav.

So, you are probably curious, what IS she wearing? its not even that adventurous! Here's what I've got on..

j crew tippi in navy, ikat linen slacks from Loft, Faye wedges from Loft.

Honestly, I'm not so easily scared off =)

Friday, May 25, 2012

friday and thoughts

happy friday! happy memorial day! I think memorial day is my favorite of all holidays.

big project to tackle this weekend - curtains! I need curtains for my bedroom, and I want to change out the ones in the living room and kitchen area. I've been doing a lot of curtain shopping online, and a lot of fabric shopping, and I've found that it wouldn't be that much cheaper to make them. I think if I could find some fabric at the thrift store, that would be ideal, but I have a very specific picture in mind, and I haven't had any luck yet.

I'm also going to make another wrap skirt, much like this one, here:

This one is from Free People vintage, and I love it, but there is no need to pay $200+ for something I can sew. So there.

The clothes I love best are those I can imagine my mother wearing in about 1978 to 1982. In my head I am always shooting for this particular aesthetic. What can I say, it stayed with me. She had a wrap skirt or five and a really good story about toddlers untying it in the grocery store with her hands full.

What are your thoughts on purple and yellow together? I have a slight negative reaction in theory, possibly because they were our rival high school colors. But in practice, I think I quite like the idea.

See, like this and this:

I think this works, but I could just be on a lot of crack. I see it with a camel belt and heels. Thoughts?

Anyway, have an amazing holiday weekend! ENJOY!

Monday, May 21, 2012

outfit 05.21.12

wow, its been a long time since I've posted an outfit. Here's what I've got on today:

Sorry for the blur. Today I have on:

Blouse: Blythe blouse, J Crew
Pants: City Capri in Wool, J Crew
Belt: Talbots
Shoes: Banana Republic
Rings: Tiffany and Mall kiosk
Bracelets: Tiffany and Anthropologie

Also, it's humid and my hair knows it!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

vintage cannes

from nymag today - I just love this! 

commentary: Michelle Williams looks a lot like Jean Seaberg, and its not just the hair.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

2012 met gala

i was perusing the pictures from the 2012 met gala on this morning. All in all, there are some extremely attractive people in some extraordinarily gorgeous clothes. Here are some that stood out to me:

Carey Mulligan in Prada. Her styling has a lot to do with why I love this.

Jessica Biel in  Prada. Justin is a lovely accessory. I aspire to her hair (bangs! bangs?)

(fairly certain the above two beauties are sporting the same kicks)

Quinn here is wearing a gorgeous Carolina Herrera. 

And unfortunately, a couple of choices that make my eyes bleed. Mostly due to overexposure.

Ohhh B. We can see your ass. In Givenchy haute couture by Riccardo Tisci.

Oh Anja. WTF is this unholy mess? Fire your stylist. Tip your waxer. In Anthony Vaccarello (who maybe should be put out of his misery?)

Friday, May 04, 2012

no. 34

I'm back to the computer after a nice little 3 day break, which included Wednesday, May 2nd, which happens to be my birthday!

This time around, I'm 34 years old. 34 is a good age, I think. This is a really nice time of life. I'm comfortable with myself, my surroundings, my circumstance. I'm happy. I have a good life. I'm doing exciting things like getting ready to buy a house (I know, what took me so long?).

I don't feel old - and why would I? I feel pretty much...ideal. Satisfied. Happy.