OMFG

i'm so hungry. I guess that's what cutting sugar out will do? i'm going to go eat all of the bananas in the fruit bowl.

egg lessons

egg cupcakes? they are delicious warm. disgusting cold. go figure. must find food that will travel well OR eat breakfast at home. dilemma. lara bar!

egg cupcake = spinach, zucchini, green onion, bacon, eggs, pinch of salt all chopped and mixed up and cooked in a cupcake tin.

adjustments to the diet

afternoon!

So, I've decided to make some dietary adjustments, and I'm recording them here for posterity and for accountability's sake.

First up..breakfast.

I'm very consistent with my breakfast. I go to Starbucks every morning, and I have a grande decaf sugar free hazlenut soy misto, a small square of dark chocolate (i'd guess 65% or so, really more semi-sweet), and a protein plate. A protein plate is grapes, apple slices, a muesli, well, I don't know what to call it, its not a muffin or scone, but a small slice of bread with nuts and fruit, about the size of a normal muffin top, a hard boiled egg, and cheese. I don't eat the cheese, and I usually save the egg for a mid-day snack.

This sounds reasonably okay, yeah? Well, I want to cut out a few things. First, the soy milk and the artificial sweetener in my coffee. I've heard coconut milk is good in coffee, I'm going to give that a shot.

Second, the bread. I just want to see what not eating bread will do, and this is really the only place in my diet I eat it.

Third, that chocolate content needs to go up to 80%+

So, new breakfast!
Egg cupcakes (recipe here)
Grapes
Apple Slices
One square dark chocolate (80%+)
Decaf coffee with coconut milk.

This also means I won't be going to Starbucks. They'll miss me, and I'll miss them. I may still visit occasionally. I am, after all, a Gold card member, haha.

Lunch and dinner, well...they can pretty much stay the same! I generally have a salad from the Whole Foods salad bar for lunch (I may start making these at home, its pricey for a daily thing), and some kind of meat + veggie for dinner.

Other things to go:
Diet Coke. I only have one a day. I kind of love Diet Coke. I drink the caffeine free version. But, I want to try to cut out artificial sweeteners for a while.

Along those lines..Fruit 20 waters. Delicious, and I crank through them throughout the work day. Again, want to cut the artificial sweetener.

Now, I really truly hate sparkling, unflavored water, so I think I'll just go plain water for a while.

Small adjustments, could have a big impact. We'll see!

In other news - I've been doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, and I kind of love working out in the morning before work. Who knew?

giving some slack on the chain of vanity

so , i have a hard time talking about a particular subject...my weight. Not to say that I am in denial, as I am and have been for some time been addressing it via diet and excercise, to positive results. here's what I have the toughest time with though..no, I don't eat perfectly (who does?). No, I don't excercise 7 days a week (3-5 actually). could I do those things? yes. but i wanted to establish a maintanable diet/exercise lifestyle, and that's what I have done. It includes dark chocolate squares and lazy evenings sometimes. of course it does, that's life. I'm proud of the progress I've made, and even thought it is tough to dig deeper for motivation once in a while, as I SAY, i've never EVER left the gym saying, you know, I shouldn't have gone today. I try to keep that in mind.

Here's where my real frustration lies. As i said, I don't eat perfectly, but I eat the way someone who maybe has that 5 extra pounds to lose does. I eat mostly lean meats, fish, healthy whole grains, veggies. the aforementioned dark chocolate is my treat. caffeine free diet coke is my vice.

For example, here is what I ate today:

Breakfast - banana, mini whole grain bagel with natural PB and a honey drizzle
Lunch - tofu scramble on wrap, 2 flax seed whole grain pancakes with maple syrup
Dinner - grilled shrimp, quinoa with sauteed mushrooms, grilled asparagus with olive oil and sea salt
Dessert - Scoop of dark chocolate sorbet

Now, I'm experimenting with quinoa and flax, and sometimes I don't get those healthy staples in my diet, but this is pretty typical in terms of a day. Now how overweight do you think I am?

Not 30 pounds, right? But yeah.

I should add that I'm on medication for panic disorder that is notorious for weight gain, as its ONLY negative side affect. In fact, 20 of these 30 lbs stuck themselves to me when I was on Zoloft originally, I came off that and on to Remeron, and added actually another 20, I've lost 10 of that.

Here's what really bugs me, and maybe I'm not giving people credit, or giving them too much thought..People I haven't seen since I was a sleek 122 probably think I've let myself go without caring. That part kills me. I care. I make (mostly) smart choices. I'm not making excuses for myself. I'm facing this, and I'm recommitting to it again, here, and every day, until I feel comfortable again.

Also, kids, there's no such thing as diet cookies. =)

-S