Monday, June 05, 2006

i can't really concentrate on much today

so I've completed this lovely oscar speech slash mad lib. Enjoy, or make your own!

Sara's Acceptance Speech for the Best Series of Special Effects Passing as a Story Oscar:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly breathe! I feel so blessed! And this statue - it's so suspiciously phallic! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to read in the tabloids that even in my wildest fits of self-loathing, I never would have fantasized that this could ever validate my mediocrity. And to the other second-rate nominees, I want each of you to know how totally mega-pumped your jealosy makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was n't blonde enough, I just had to take a Xanax and think about how great my fans have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda numb

You know, there are so many back-stabbing two-faced harpies to thank! First off though, I want to thank the senile old bats of the Academy, who looked deep within their lint-encrusted navels before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Vishnu, for being such a powerful force in my life. And to my sister, who taught me to take life by the fifth of bourbon. And finally, to all the personal assistants I fired - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!

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