so I've completed this lovely oscar speech slash mad lib. Enjoy, or make your own!
Sara's Acceptance Speech for the Best Series of Special Effects Passing as a Story Oscar:
Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly breathe! I feel so blessed! And this statue - it's so suspiciously phallic! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to read in the tabloids that even in my wildest fits of self-loathing, I never would have fantasized that this could ever validate my mediocrity. And to the other second-rate nominees, I want each of you to know how totally mega-pumped your jealosy makes me feel right now!
You know when they first told me I was n't blonde enough, I just had to take a Xanax and think about how great my fans have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda numb
You know, there are so many back-stabbing two-faced harpies to thank! First off though, I want to thank the senile old bats of the Academy, who looked deep within their lint-encrusted navels before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Vishnu, for being such a powerful force in my life. And to my sister, who taught me to take life by the fifth of bourbon. And finally, to all the personal assistants I fired - I couldn't have done it without you!
Thank you America, and good night!