Monday, November 28, 2011

ohhhh uggggh

you remember that decision I made a few weeks ago? To come off one of my two drugs for my panic disorder? Well, I did. I tapered, and then I finally came off of it all together on Thursday night after Thanksgiving. I expected to feel like hell - and I did, kind of. I felt weird all weekend. I spent a lot of time on the couch. I did my workouts every day, because exercise helps the symptoms. I felt "OK". Which I suppose if your most demanding activity is exercising for an hour, followed by couch sitting..well, that's enough. Not so much at work. I have no couch in my office. Can you believe it?!?

Today? Today, I feel like crap. I feel shaky and weird and kind of disassociated with myself and...well, not hungry. In the least. I just finished my breakfast. Its 3:30pm. I wasn't hungry, but I was feeling a little shaky, and since I can't exactly pinpoint the cause of shakiness, I made myself eat.

As we humans are wont to do, I googled all this. I googled withdrawal symptoms from this drug. I am now terrified, thanks internet. I got a good giggle about how this drug makes you eat like a stoned teenager (I can see that), and crave carbs and sugar (I can definitely see that). I am now worried about a whole host of issues. Scary scary issues. And I'm terrified even more that the drug I'm still on does exactly shit and the drug I went off was doing all the good.

Hot damn, I hate this shit.

(As a side note on the exercise - I am now into my third part or section or whatever you call it of P90X. So, I'm a little over 2/3rds of the way done. I can do WAY more pushups. I still can't do pull ups or a half moon. I hopped back to Level 3 of Jillian's 30 day shred on Saturday instead of Plyo - who am I kidding, anything to get out of Plyo...and I expected it to be easy...but it wasn't. It was kind of harder than Plyo. Though about 2/3rds shorter!  Overall, however, we are still, yay, P90X. Ordering P90X 2 here in a few days. I ain't done yet. Though dude, I'm kinda over the Back and Legs workout. Sneaky lunges = blargh.)

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